Time Travelling in Myanmar

We took the train fromYangon to Bagan on the Christmas' Eve, the ride was bumpy and took about 22 hrs. The train running towards the outskirt of the town, the temperature dropped significantly and the air was filled with a thin mist and a hint of agitated sands. I was really sleepy at that time but too reluctant to sleep, afraid of taking off my contact lens in the train because of hygienic concern and I did not bring my glasses with me. He persuaded me to remove my lens. His tone of voice always keep me calm and secured, they are magical as though I will be able to do anything if he just say. The sky turned dark early and before I realise I was soundly asleep. When I woke up later, I found his sweaters and scarfs all over myself. He was well asleep and I felt a sense of belonging I've longed for in my life.

2014: A Year of Transitions

2014 is coming to the end. To be honest, there hasn't been any year as remarkable as 2014 to me. This is a year of self-evaluation and self- help. An eventful year loaded with achievements, failures, depression and acceptance, and I'm in a relationship with B.. I always thought it is not possible for me to be comfortable with another soul even though mum assures that I will surrender when I meet 'the one'. It all started with a road accident from our road trip to Penang and a series of events that follow :)

In March I graduated from university with Best Graduate award and that's when the reality set in. I got loss. I started searching for a job before graduation, went for several interviews and rejected the offers that I got. It took months for me to accept the fact that I do not want to stay in the food industry. I felt confused on what I should do with a degree in Food Science and Technology. I did not feel better until I started my baking adventures. I am really really grateful that mummy and B keep my head held high throughout that period. 

The feeling of uncertainty wrecked my nerve every day and night and I decided that I could not let it go on like that. I took up a job in a MNC and had months of unpaid OT facing excel spreadsheets. Okay skip a beat because it is really boring.. I am happy that I am quitting my job in IBM and my last day is less than 1 month away! Time to take my cup of warm honey and go to bed as I still have to attend to work tomorrow.

Alive and Well

A weekend of lounging in the house. These days I have been totally immersing myself with works and answering a zillion requests in my mail box everyday. I barely able to slow down my pace, every free second spent is followed by a guilty thought. I know that is truly insane and unreasonable; I understand that staring at the screen for 24hrs a day would not get the work done.

 Those Ginger Bread Man are cute, aren't they?

Autumn

Dear blog,

It seems that it's Autumn here in Malaysia. This is the season for cinnamon & sweater, the perfect time to snuggle in loose pyjamas. It is so hard to give up my blanket in the morning and get ready for work. I found myself indulge in more and more sweet treats.

Memories of September 2013 is still vivid in my mind, bitter and sweet. I was a student back then. Life took me down a different path after I graduated with a Bachelor degree of FST from University. I took some time off and started carving out the image of future in a way that I never did before. As a grown-up adult, my imagination is being restricted by reality. I find excuses of how things may fail and become discouraged by them. As timid as I was, I gathered my soul and body to attend the OD to my dream. I have no regret even though I was not successful.

Not long after that, I joined IBM and became part of the integrated supply chain where I gain a real insight about working in a big corporation. I accepted this job offer partly because I was afraid of unemployment and I was not passionate enough to get a science related job. Working was demanding and the load often requires me to work until as late as 11pm. I was torn by people's expectation and I learned how the slightest mistake can bring a serious consequence. 

Throughout that period, I lost my balance several time. I would not say I am coping well at the moment but slowly blending in. Looking ahead, I am firm of my passion of getting connected with people. This job has allowed me to improve my presentation and communication skills, which are much needed in order to be successful at my dream.

I promise myself to learn as much as I can, be fearless to dream and be courageous in all aspects of my life.

Yours truly,

Hazel.

The Writers

“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.” - F. Scott Fitzgerald

The past week's mantra was rest and easy because I wanted to press a pause button before the working life begins. It took me a while to unwind myself from the events that happened within the last 3 months. I remember breaking down and cried when I was frustrated and feeling discouraged due to the challenges faced. I was afraid for not possessing enthusiasm for a career in food industry. These emotions were kept raw in my journal, and as hard as they once seemed, I have overcame them.

I tried not to bother my family too much but my boyfriend was the least fortunate who became a victim of this. Nevertheless, he always encourages me to keep my passion alive. He was right about not rushing into workforce just because of the fear of unemployment. 

Thank you for joining me in writing these stories. Thank you for kissing my salted cheeks in the darkest days.

Fougasse

This week's bake is the leaf-shaped French bread known as Fougasse! This is the perfect bread for people who love crunchy bread over soft bread like I do because it has relatively higher crust to crumb ratio. When it is fresh, Fougasse is really crispy! I made it walnuts and sesame seeds as I have a handful of them in my kitchen. I would really love to attempt savoury Fougasse next time as I received some lovely dried Oregano I from bb.

The finished product did not have a beautiful appearance because I did not brush my dough with any egg or oil prior to baking (ran out of both materials in the kitchen). Also, the amount of molasses added probably was not sufficient to support caramelization (reaction responsible for the browning of baked products). Nevertheless, I am still happy with it :)

I never expect them to become this big! I am so amazed by the magic of fermentation.

Ingredients (make 3)

High gluten wheat flour 200g (plus more for dusting)

Whole wheat flour 45 g

Instant dreid yeast 3g

Sea salt 5g

Molasses 6g

Unsalted butter 5g

Water 155g

Lightly roasted, crusted walnut 40g

Lightly roasted, roughly ground Black sesame seeds 10g

Crusty Bread

3rd June 2014

When plan does not meet change, it is up to us to define whether it is blessed or otherwise. I did not think like this at the very beginning but at some point, I came to realize that it is a better take for the mind and the heart; it is helpful, perhaps in coming up with new plans.

Tuesday was another that-kind-of-day. My appointment for the day has been postponed and the weather was too cold and wet to go out. I decided to spend the morning baking because I think that's the only physical activity that I'm interested in doing (all the kneading, rolling and cleaning works are no joke!).

I make something simple and healthy for this week because I can hear my arteries protesting for the amount of cheesecakes I've eaten in the past few days (shhh).

These are my crusty breads (think french baguette) with walnuts and black sesame seeds, 30% whole wheat. I made them in different shapes because I wanted each of them to be uniquely handcrafted. 

The cuts were made with a conventional knife because I don't own a scoring blade yet, I can only adore the beautiful cuts on artisan breads at the moment hehe. I increased the proportion of whole wheat flour to high gluten wheat flour in the recipe of walnut and cranberry bread. They turned out fine to my personal liking!

Ingredients (make 4)

170 g milk

180 g high gluten wheat flour

70 g whole wheat flour

9 g molasses

4 g active yeast

1 g sea salt

13 g butter

30 g walnuts (lightly roasted)

10 g black sesame seeds (lightly roasted)

Happy baking! 

I shared some of the fresh breads with my neighbor and the rest were my breakfast for three days :) The reason why I embrace cooking is that it is a simple and practical way to deliver the message of love. By preparing wholesome meals using healthy ingredients, we can nurture and support our love ones with energy they need in pursuing their own goals.