2014: A Year of Transitions

2014 is coming to the end. To be honest, there hasn't been any year as remarkable as 2014 to me. This is a year of self-evaluation and self- help. An eventful year loaded with achievements, failures, depression and acceptance, and I'm in a relationship with B.. I always thought it is not possible for me to be comfortable with another soul even though mum assures that I will surrender when I meet 'the one'. It all started with a road accident from our road trip to Penang and a series of events that follow :)

In March I graduated from university with Best Graduate award and that's when the reality set in. I got loss. I started searching for a job before graduation, went for several interviews and rejected the offers that I got. It took months for me to accept the fact that I do not want to stay in the food industry. I felt confused on what I should do with a degree in Food Science and Technology. I did not feel better until I started my baking adventures. I am really really grateful that mummy and B keep my head held high throughout that period. 

The feeling of uncertainty wrecked my nerve every day and night and I decided that I could not let it go on like that. I took up a job in a MNC and had months of unpaid OT facing excel spreadsheets. Okay skip a beat because it is really boring.. I am happy that I am quitting my job in IBM and my last day is less than 1 month away! Time to take my cup of warm honey and go to bed as I still have to attend to work tomorrow.

Alive and Well

A weekend of lounging in the house. These days I have been totally immersing myself with works and answering a zillion requests in my mail box everyday. I barely able to slow down my pace, every free second spent is followed by a guilty thought. I know that is truly insane and unreasonable; I understand that staring at the screen for 24hrs a day would not get the work done.

 Those Ginger Bread Man are cute, aren't they?

Autumn

Dear blog,

It seems that it's Autumn here in Malaysia. This is the season for cinnamon & sweater, the perfect time to snuggle in loose pyjamas. It is so hard to give up my blanket in the morning and get ready for work. I found myself indulge in more and more sweet treats.

Memories of September 2013 is still vivid in my mind, bitter and sweet. I was a student back then. Life took me down a different path after I graduated with a Bachelor degree of FST from University. I took some time off and started carving out the image of future in a way that I never did before. As a grown-up adult, my imagination is being restricted by reality. I find excuses of how things may fail and become discouraged by them. As timid as I was, I gathered my soul and body to attend the OD to my dream. I have no regret even though I was not successful.

Not long after that, I joined IBM and became part of the integrated supply chain where I gain a real insight about working in a big corporation. I accepted this job offer partly because I was afraid of unemployment and I was not passionate enough to get a science related job. Working was demanding and the load often requires me to work until as late as 11pm. I was torn by people's expectation and I learned how the slightest mistake can bring a serious consequence. 

Throughout that period, I lost my balance several time. I would not say I am coping well at the moment but slowly blending in. Looking ahead, I am firm of my passion of getting connected with people. This job has allowed me to improve my presentation and communication skills, which are much needed in order to be successful at my dream.

I promise myself to learn as much as I can, be fearless to dream and be courageous in all aspects of my life.

Yours truly,

Hazel.

The Writers

“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.” - F. Scott Fitzgerald

The past week's mantra was rest and easy because I wanted to press a pause button before the working life begins. It took me a while to unwind myself from the events that happened within the last 3 months. I remember breaking down and cried when I was frustrated and feeling discouraged due to the challenges faced. I was afraid for not possessing enthusiasm for a career in food industry. These emotions were kept raw in my journal, and as hard as they once seemed, I have overcame them.

I tried not to bother my family too much but my boyfriend was the least fortunate who became a victim of this. Nevertheless, he always encourages me to keep my passion alive. He was right about not rushing into workforce just because of the fear of unemployment. 

Thank you for joining me in writing these stories. Thank you for kissing my salted cheeks in the darkest days.

Fougasse

This week's bake is the leaf-shaped French bread known as Fougasse! This is the perfect bread for people who love crunchy bread over soft bread like I do because it has relatively higher crust to crumb ratio. When it is fresh, Fougasse is really crispy! I made it walnuts and sesame seeds as I have a handful of them in my kitchen. I would really love to attempt savoury Fougasse next time as I received some lovely dried Oregano I from bb.

The finished product did not have a beautiful appearance because I did not brush my dough with any egg or oil prior to baking (ran out of both materials in the kitchen). Also, the amount of molasses added probably was not sufficient to support caramelization (reaction responsible for the browning of baked products). Nevertheless, I am still happy with it :)

I never expect them to become this big! I am so amazed by the magic of fermentation.

Ingredients (make 3)

High gluten wheat flour 200g (plus more for dusting)

Whole wheat flour 45 g

Instant dreid yeast 3g

Sea salt 5g

Molasses 6g

Unsalted butter 5g

Water 155g

Lightly roasted, crusted walnut 40g

Lightly roasted, roughly ground Black sesame seeds 10g

Crusty Bread

3rd June 2014

When plan does not meet change, it is up to us to define whether it is blessed or otherwise. I did not think like this at the very beginning but at some point, I came to realize that it is a better take for the mind and the heart; it is helpful, perhaps in coming up with new plans.

Tuesday was another that-kind-of-day. My appointment for the day has been postponed and the weather was too cold and wet to go out. I decided to spend the morning baking because I think that's the only physical activity that I'm interested in doing (all the kneading, rolling and cleaning works are no joke!).

I make something simple and healthy for this week because I can hear my arteries protesting for the amount of cheesecakes I've eaten in the past few days (shhh).

These are my crusty breads (think french baguette) with walnuts and black sesame seeds, 30% whole wheat. I made them in different shapes because I wanted each of them to be uniquely handcrafted. 

The cuts were made with a conventional knife because I don't own a scoring blade yet, I can only adore the beautiful cuts on artisan breads at the moment hehe. I increased the proportion of whole wheat flour to high gluten wheat flour in the recipe of walnut and cranberry bread. They turned out fine to my personal liking!

Ingredients (make 4)

170 g milk

180 g high gluten wheat flour

70 g whole wheat flour

9 g molasses

4 g active yeast

1 g sea salt

13 g butter

30 g walnuts (lightly roasted)

10 g black sesame seeds (lightly roasted)

Happy baking! 

I shared some of the fresh breads with my neighbor and the rest were my breakfast for three days :) The reason why I embrace cooking is that it is a simple and practical way to deliver the message of love. By preparing wholesome meals using healthy ingredients, we can nurture and support our love ones with energy they need in pursuing their own goals.

We made dinner.

This story took place on a Sunday, after spending our afternoon at Magenta. For lunch, I ordered the chicken chop, which is the unlikeliest thing that I'd pick from the menu, for some reason. Most people who are concerned about food have their own philosophies about food choice, and there are people who try to minimize meat consumption, like me. He swapped his plate with me as though he could read my mind.

When wasabi and pasta coincide in a plate - Italian food enriched with a hint of Japanese flavor.

I was thinking about recreating this dish at home by adding wasabi, seaweed and sesame seeds to shrimp aglio olio. They used mild wasabi but I wouldn't mind substituting it with a stronger one, even though it may disrupt the harmony combination.

After lunch, we went to Ben's  Independent Grocer with an intention to purchase some ingredients to make bagel sandwich. Yes, the heat of bagel is still ongoing in my kitchen. Being adventurous, the idea evolved into cooking our own dinners. I was intrigued to make pizza base from scratch and he wanted smoked salmon and cream cheese as the toppings (fish is one of the changes he brought to my eating habit). We picked up smoked salmon, fresh salmon filet and some greens.

I started with preparing the pizza dough. While waiting for it to rise, we marinated the salmon filet with some salt and pepper, and seasoned it with Oregano. He offered to prepare the mashed potatoes while I do the cleaning. After the dough doubled in size, we placed it in into the preheated oven along with the salmon filet.

Dinner is served! P/s: He did the food presentation. 

The salmon filet turned out to be too salty for my preference and the pizza base was crunchy instead of crispy. Nevertheless, we enjoyed our dinner, mostly for the satisfaction from the accomplishment. Genuine pleasure can come from simple, ordinary things. I embrace every moment involved from planning the menu, shopping for ingredient, cooking the food and cleaning the place.

What I value the most is the effort he devoted to make this happen, despite of the geographical distance. 

Bagel, many ways.

Breakfast has become my morning ritual since the day my doctor gave me several advice to avoid triggering severe gastric discomfort. One of it demanded me to consume small meals at regular intervals instead of having big  portion at one go. 

I started having my breakfast everyday, usually at home and have no problem following the advice. In fact, breakfast is my favorite meal and it is necessary for me to get me get through my day. A good breakfast also soothes heartbreaks during the not-so-good-days, which I am currently having.

After a whole night of crying, I really wanted something that can serve as a REAL TREAT for breakfast. I am refrained from going out for something decent because of my red and puffy eyes. Crying out loud feels good, but explaining that it is merely way for me to release my feeling is a hard-hard-task. I also hate the weird, long stares from other people (Yes, I have several experiences!).

Out of the sudden, the bagels I made yesterday sprung into my mind; I still have five of them lying in the freezer! Why don't I make something out from them? 

I took out a bagel from the freezer and pop them into the toaster for 10 minutes. What makes a treat a treat is having something you love but can't have them too often for some reasons. I usually omit out high-fat content foods in daily diet and only have them on special occasions. Well, you can pretend not knowing about my weekly dessert and daily fika when you read this.

I mixed the leftover walnut from the making of Walnut Cranberry Bread with generous amount of cream cheese, drizzle some honey and spread them on the toasted bagel. 

After the first bite, I can foresee myself making more and more bagels in the future. They are versatile, thanks to their rather plain taste. Also, they can be preserved well in the freezer and still taste good after toasting. To be exact, toasted bagels taste better then freshly baked ones, forget the experience of the leathery store-bought bagels if you ever have any.

The slather of walnut cream cheese on the chewy innards of bagels, encased in the crispy crust served well as a treat. There is nothing a good breakfast can't cure.

Here's another serving idea. I said they are versatile, right? Naturally fat free, and low in sugar and sodium, they can make a healthy and complete meal with avocado and sunny-side up. Slice them open, spread a layer of avocado on the surface. And if you love runny yolk like I do, sandwich the egg in between. Happy breakfast!

Bagel

The little town that I live in cannot be accounted as a food desert, but there isn't any decent bakery within walking distant. I visit bakeries in the shopping center to get freshly baked breads every once a week but none of them offers bagel - it just isn't the culture in Malaysia.

I first discovered bagel in a cafe with in 2013 and that has left me craving for more. The shiny roll with appearance that assembles doughnut was completely new to me. I soon fall in love with its dense and chewy texture which sets it different from the other breads. 

As I further my adventure with yeast, I decided to make my own bagels. The recipe calls for just a few kitchen staples: flour, sugar, salt, yeast and water. Traditionally, malt syrup is involved in the recipe but I decided to stick to the simplified version as I do not have any malt syrup in hand.

I was brainstorming for topping idea as I shaped the dough and started wondering its origin. A quick search on Google told me that bagel has acquired its stirrup shape for more than a century; the shape signifies the eternal cycle of life and is believed to bring good luck.

After shaping, these dough was rested for 40 minutes to allow proofing.

Bagel making involve a distinctive step that distinguishes it from other baked products - dough has to be poached in boiling water prior to baking. This key step is responsible for the chewy texture of the finished product. Apart from that, poaching in boiling water could also inactivate yeast and limits fermentation in the latter baking. It is often said that New York City has the greatest bagel in the world because it's municipal water has high mineral content which better supports the formation of gluten. 

Conventionally, lye is added to the poaching water to achieve an alkaline mixture that enhances Maillard reaction - the reaction that facilitates crust browning and flavor development. Due to the potential danger involved in dealing with the corrosive solution, baking soda is often used as the alternative for home baking. 

Poached bagel dough is subsequently brushed with egg white and baked in the oven for 15-20 minutes until it becomes golden brown.

The outcome: a half dozen of freshly baked bagels! These babies have crackly crust and chewy innard when warm. Upon cooling, they become touch and too dense and require toasting before serving.

Isn't it amazing that a few basic ingredients can give rise to so many possibilities with different textures and flavors? A slight alter in cooking methods and other parameters could create product that will surprise you! Making bagel is not tough but it is time consuming. I am so addicted to baking, the feeling of accomplishing things, especially edible things, from scratch makes me happy. It is a huge lesson about being patience- urging the yeast won't make the dough rise any faster. 

The undesired response I received in my mailbox today has brought me down but I am learning to take it positively. I feel blessed that my boyfriend is not only a partner, he is a teammate who involves himself in my life and shares the same feelings with me. It feels so good to have someone who strives to bring the best out of you and holds your hand and tells you it's okay.

Lastly, there's no way I can tell whether my bagel taste authentic because I've never been to New York! Well, someday, maybe :)

Walnut and Cranberry Bread

Rain falls heavily as I'm writing this. It's the same to the day when these breads were made. In fact, this sad weather has persisted for a couple of days and I wonder when the rain will go away. Don't mistake me, the rain is not making me down. I've realized that your mood depends on what you think and what you do, so don't blame the weather. I just have a slight complain because the cold seems to intensify my premenstrual pain  T^T.

I made these breads as I wanted something dense to bite. The breads are mildly sweetened and contained very low amount of fat. It was pleasurable to bite into the crispy crust and soft crumb, along with the crunchy walnuts and juicy cranberries which gave a burst of sweetness. Sadly, the texture wasn't retained after the breads were cooled. Fresh is always the best! 

The original recipe called for raisins but I substituted it with cranberries (I hate raisin!). I am so glad with the outcome and good comments from my neighbors. Paired it with coffee and called it a meal :)

What should I make next? There are so many recipes that I wish to try!

Breakfast Roll

'Today is life-the only life you are sure of. Make the most of today. Get interested in something. Shake yourself awake. Develop a hobby. Let the winds of enthusiasm sweep through you. Live today with gusto.' Dale Carnegie

Losing passion and the drive of the life is like walking in a no-end tunnel. I wouldn't say that I have found the exit at the moment, but at least I keep myself moving :) 

I started my bread baking adventure with this breakfast rolls. The use of yeast added a certain extent of doubts into the process because it was hard for a beginner to gauge and predict the outcome. It may be intimidating but it is those unforeseeable factors that make the process extraordinary exciting. 

The process took me around 3 hours. I started by using the bread machine to form a dough and subsequently hand-kneaded it for 15 minutes to allow the development of gluten. Kneading is a labor intensive, but definitely rewarding activity. My heart was overflown with joy as the dough became smoother and smoother. Subsequently, the dough was placed in a bowl and covered with cling wrap for 40 minutes to allow first proofing. 

When the dough doubled in size, it was divided into nine equal parts and allowed to rest for 15 minutes for second proofing. Another round of shaping followed and the dough was left for 40 minutes for the final proof. Before putting them into the oven, I brushed the surface with some egg to enhance its appearance. 

I halved the bun and toasted it with some cheddar. My heart fluttered when I saw the fine and even holes in the crumb. It feels like performing magic using yeast in the kitchen!

Today, I've decided that, whatever I do, it has to involve foods. It doesn't have to be my job,  I feel happy simply by writing about my kitchen adventure! I will never let go of my passion :)