我们去喝粥

他不喜欢粥品，但只要我生病的时候他都会给我买粥，或是亲自给我熬粥。有他在生病也好幸福。

我点的皮蛋鱼片粥。

小厨娘日记：胡椒炒蔬菜

去了一趟印度回来又生病了，工作时吐了4-5次，一直冒冷汗，自己也不清楚究竟是因为食物不干净还是受不了那食物的味道。现在只要看到班表上有印度班我就想叹气了。

回家时男朋友不在，睡了好几个小时然后自己做了晚饭。我想自己好像越来越喜欢吃中式的食物了，特别是生病的时候，真的感觉特别疗愈。

虽是简单的小菜，吃了感觉特别好，好想学会多些菜式，下次可以煮给他吃。

Style is something you will acquire when you have personality.

东至

继第一个不再家过的新年后我又过了在国外的第一个冬至
好再之前回了一趟家，妈咪提早给我做了一碗姜汁汤圆
刚从悉尼回来，想着与其独自一人，不如请朋友来，做一顿家常饭。

这可是我第一次做饭给别人吃呢，可怜的男朋友除外 :)
做了家常洋葱煎蛋，香煎豆腐排，miso soup, 第一次用太白粉做浓稠的酱汁，好奇妙噢！

吃完晚饭和Amy一起泡茶吃曲奇饼，聊聊境况，好开心开心！

"That's not Greek yogurt! In Greece, we cut our yogurt with knife and they are delicious, thick and nutritious!" 😾

又生病了

 

好好吃的猪肠粉💕 搬来这里好久了今天才第一次再附近吃早餐，早餐多巴剎好有活力！🏠

昨天又生病了，胃痛和发烧，开始飞之后差不多每个月都生病，还好他在我身边照顾我。还好你疼我。

今天要飞伦敦了，我们五日后见哦，宝贝，我真不想离开你身边。

Between you and me.. 我们之间小小的秘密

不知道什么时候，我觉得我们再分不开了。早已过了热恋期那种甜的不真实的关系，取而代之的是稳定而确实的安全感。我要的那种安全感，你终于给我了。

在你的气息中找到属于我的宁静。

有你陪我，我不怕。

我们逐渐画出了属于我们未来的蓝图，创造自己的美好，有你的以后就美好。我爱你。

我的海阔天空

从悉尼回来后就一直在想自己也该是时候调整生活重心了
我也不知道自己在害怕什么
一开始的时候我甚至没有察觉到自己是在恐惧的
直到身边的朋友，同事这么问我
是呢..我在害怕什么呀？

我总不能在把喜忧都寄托在别人身上了
我总是要学习独立承担
活得精彩

小时候喜欢写作和绘图
长大后有时对着空白的纸张或银幕许久都未能动笔
今天突然很来劲，很想改变写什么 或创造些什么

Wishing for Clear Sky

穿上这套深蓝色的制服已经快要四个月了

现在慢慢能压制住飞行前的小紧张，

无论什么时间上班，我都会先吃份简餐

还记得有一次凌晨飞新德里班，晚餐时因为忙着些琐事而草草解决了

结果发完餐时我差不多快昏过去，同时马上到了杯果汁给我提醒我要照顾好身体

于是我意识到自己的身体因为这日夜颠倒的作息而变得更差了

我们无时无刻都希望给乘客最体贴的关怀

可是谁想到我们也有可能是顶着剧烈难忍的头疼在工作

其实从没奢求什么回报 他们一句简单的谢谢都能让我乐进心坎里

有次乘客握着我的手所 'You're a lovely lady, you're doing a very good job'

我乐了好久

还有一次有一个印度妇女下飞机前给力我一个拥抱还说我像她的女儿一样

这些小小的点滴都是我努力的动力啊

实在不喜欢一些学长学姐们总是喜欢埋怨

在Briefing room经理做简报时开始怨天怨地的一只说到下飞机

我只愿在我的飞行生涯都抱着这样的态度：

把乘客都当成我私人派对的贵宾，我的好朋友

好好招呼他们 嘻嘻

Time Travelling in Myanmar

We took the train fromYangon to Bagan on the Christmas' Eve, the ride was bumpy and took about 22 hrs. The train running towards the outskirt of the town, the temperature dropped significantly and the air was filled with a thin mist and a hint of agitated sands. I was really sleepy at that time but too reluctant to sleep, afraid of taking off my contact lens in the train because of hygienic concern and I did not bring my glasses with me. He persuaded me to remove my lens. His tone of voice always keep me calm and secured, they are magical as though I will be able to do anything if he just say. The sky turned dark early and before I realise I was soundly asleep. When I woke up later, I found his sweaters and scarfs all over myself. He was well asleep and I felt a sense of belonging I've longed for in my life.

2014: A Year of Transitions

2014 is coming to the end. To be honest, there hasn't been any year as remarkable as 2014 to me. This is a year of self-evaluation and self- help. An eventful year loaded with achievements, failures, depression and acceptance, and I'm in a relationship with B.. I always thought it is not possible for me to be comfortable with another soul even though mum assures that I will surrender when I meet 'the one'. It all started with a road accident from our road trip to Penang and a series of events that follow :)

In March I graduated from university with Best Graduate award and that's when the reality set in. I got loss. I started searching for a job before graduation, went for several interviews and rejected the offers that I got. It took months for me to accept the fact that I do not want to stay in the food industry. I felt confused on what I should do with a degree in Food Science and Technology. I did not feel better until I started my baking adventures. I am really really grateful that mummy and B keep my head held high throughout that period. 

The feeling of uncertainty wrecked my nerve every day and night and I decided that I could not let it go on like that. I took up a job in a MNC and had months of unpaid OT facing excel spreadsheets. Okay skip a beat because it is really boring.. I am happy that I am quitting my job in IBM and my last day is less than 1 month away! Time to take my cup of warm honey and go to bed as I still have to attend to work tomorrow.

Alive and Well

A weekend of lounging in the house. These days I have been totally immersing myself with works and answering a zillion requests in my mail box everyday. I barely able to slow down my pace, every free second spent is followed by a guilty thought. I know that is truly insane and unreasonable; I understand that staring at the screen for 24hrs a day would not get the work done.

 Those Ginger Bread Man are cute, aren't they?

Autumn

Dear blog,

It seems that it's Autumn here in Malaysia. This is the season for cinnamon & sweater, the perfect time to snuggle in loose pyjamas. It is so hard to give up my blanket in the morning and get ready for work. I found myself indulge in more and more sweet treats.

Memories of September 2013 is still vivid in my mind, bitter and sweet. I was a student back then. Life took me down a different path after I graduated with a Bachelor degree of FST from University. I took some time off and started carving out the image of future in a way that I never did before. As a grown-up adult, my imagination is being restricted by reality. I find excuses of how things may fail and become discouraged by them. As timid as I was, I gathered my soul and body to attend the OD to my dream. I have no regret even though I was not successful.

Not long after that, I joined IBM and became part of the integrated supply chain where I gain a real insight about working in a big corporation. I accepted this job offer partly because I was afraid of unemployment and I was not passionate enough to get a science related job. Working was demanding and the load often requires me to work until as late as 11pm. I was torn by people's expectation and I learned how the slightest mistake can bring a serious consequence. 

Throughout that period, I lost my balance several time. I would not say I am coping well at the moment but slowly blending in. Looking ahead, I am firm of my passion of getting connected with people. This job has allowed me to improve my presentation and communication skills, which are much needed in order to be successful at my dream.

I promise myself to learn as much as I can, be fearless to dream and be courageous in all aspects of my life.

Yours truly,

Hazel.

The Writers

“For what it’s worth: it’s never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There’s no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you’re proud of. If you find that you’re not, I hope you have the courage to start all over again.” - F. Scott Fitzgerald

The past week's mantra was rest and easy because I wanted to press a pause button before the working life begins. It took me a while to unwind myself from the events that happened within the last 3 months. I remember breaking down and cried when I was frustrated and feeling discouraged due to the challenges faced. I was afraid for not possessing enthusiasm for a career in food industry. These emotions were kept raw in my journal, and as hard as they once seemed, I have overcame them.

I tried not to bother my family too much but my boyfriend was the least fortunate who became a victim of this. Nevertheless, he always encourages me to keep my passion alive. He was right about not rushing into workforce just because of the fear of unemployment. 

Thank you for joining me in writing these stories. Thank you for kissing my salted cheeks in the darkest days.

Fougasse

This week's bake is the leaf-shaped French bread known as Fougasse! This is the perfect bread for people who love crunchy bread over soft bread like I do because it has relatively higher crust to crumb ratio. When it is fresh, Fougasse is really crispy! I made it walnuts and sesame seeds as I have a handful of them in my kitchen. I would really love to attempt savoury Fougasse next time as I received some lovely dried Oregano I from bb.

The finished product did not have a beautiful appearance because I did not brush my dough with any egg or oil prior to baking (ran out of both materials in the kitchen). Also, the amount of molasses added probably was not sufficient to support caramelization (reaction responsible for the browning of baked products). Nevertheless, I am still happy with it :)

I never expect them to become this big! I am so amazed by the magic of fermentation.

Ingredients (make 3)

High gluten wheat flour 200g (plus more for dusting)

Whole wheat flour 45 g

Instant dreid yeast 3g

Sea salt 5g

Molasses 6g

Unsalted butter 5g

Water 155g

Lightly roasted, crusted walnut 40g

Lightly roasted, roughly ground Black sesame seeds 10g

Crusty Bread

3rd June 2014

When plan does not meet change, it is up to us to define whether it is blessed or otherwise. I did not think like this at the very beginning but at some point, I came to realize that it is a better take for the mind and the heart; it is helpful, perhaps in coming up with new plans.

Tuesday was another that-kind-of-day. My appointment for the day has been postponed and the weather was too cold and wet to go out. I decided to spend the morning baking because I think that's the only physical activity that I'm interested in doing (all the kneading, rolling and cleaning works are no joke!).

I make something simple and healthy for this week because I can hear my arteries protesting for the amount of cheesecakes I've eaten in the past few days (shhh).

These are my crusty breads (think french baguette) with walnuts and black sesame seeds, 30% whole wheat. I made them in different shapes because I wanted each of them to be uniquely handcrafted. 

The cuts were made with a conventional knife because I don't own a scoring blade yet, I can only adore the beautiful cuts on artisan breads at the moment hehe. I increased the proportion of whole wheat flour to high gluten wheat flour in the recipe of walnut and cranberry bread. They turned out fine to my personal liking!

Ingredients (make 4)

170 g milk

180 g high gluten wheat flour

70 g whole wheat flour

9 g molasses

4 g active yeast

1 g sea salt

13 g butter

30 g walnuts (lightly roasted)

10 g black sesame seeds (lightly roasted)

Happy baking! 

I shared some of the fresh breads with my neighbor and the rest were my breakfast for three days :) The reason why I embrace cooking is that it is a simple and practical way to deliver the message of love. By preparing wholesome meals using healthy ingredients, we can nurture and support our love ones with energy they need in pursuing their own goals.

We made dinner.

This story took place on a Sunday, after spending our afternoon at Magenta. For lunch, I ordered the chicken chop, which is the unlikeliest thing that I'd pick from the menu, for some reason. Most people who are concerned about food have their own philosophies about food choice, and there are people who try to minimize meat consumption, like me. He swapped his plate with me as though he could read my mind.

When wasabi and pasta coincide in a plate - Italian food enriched with a hint of Japanese flavor.

I was thinking about recreating this dish at home by adding wasabi, seaweed and sesame seeds to shrimp aglio olio. They used mild wasabi but I wouldn't mind substituting it with a stronger one, even though it may disrupt the harmony combination.

After lunch, we went to Ben's  Independent Grocer with an intention to purchase some ingredients to make bagel sandwich. Yes, the heat of bagel is still ongoing in my kitchen. Being adventurous, the idea evolved into cooking our own dinners. I was intrigued to make pizza base from scratch and he wanted smoked salmon and cream cheese as the toppings (fish is one of the changes he brought to my eating habit). We picked up smoked salmon, fresh salmon filet and some greens.

I started with preparing the pizza dough. While waiting for it to rise, we marinated the salmon filet with some salt and pepper, and seasoned it with Oregano. He offered to prepare the mashed potatoes while I do the cleaning. After the dough doubled in size, we placed it in into the preheated oven along with the salmon filet.

Dinner is served! P/s: He did the food presentation. 

The salmon filet turned out to be too salty for my preference and the pizza base was crunchy instead of crispy. Nevertheless, we enjoyed our dinner, mostly for the satisfaction from the accomplishment. Genuine pleasure can come from simple, ordinary things. I embrace every moment involved from planning the menu, shopping for ingredient, cooking the food and cleaning the place.

What I value the most is the effort he devoted to make this happen, despite of the geographical distance. 

Bagel, many ways.

Breakfast has become my morning ritual since the day my doctor gave me several advice to avoid triggering severe gastric discomfort. One of it demanded me to consume small meals at regular intervals instead of having big  portion at one go. 

I started having my breakfast everyday, usually at home and have no problem following the advice. In fact, breakfast is my favorite meal and it is necessary for me to get me get through my day. A good breakfast also soothes heartbreaks during the not-so-good-days, which I am currently having.

After a whole night of crying, I really wanted something that can serve as a REAL TREAT for breakfast. I am refrained from going out for something decent because of my red and puffy eyes. Crying out loud feels good, but explaining that it is merely way for me to release my feeling is a hard-hard-task. I also hate the weird, long stares from other people (Yes, I have several experiences!).

Out of the sudden, the bagels I made yesterday sprung into my mind; I still have five of them lying in the freezer! Why don't I make something out from them? 

I took out a bagel from the freezer and pop them into the toaster for 10 minutes. What makes a treat a treat is having something you love but can't have them too often for some reasons. I usually omit out high-fat content foods in daily diet and only have them on special occasions. Well, you can pretend not knowing about my weekly dessert and daily fika when you read this.

I mixed the leftover walnut from the making of Walnut Cranberry Bread with generous amount of cream cheese, drizzle some honey and spread them on the toasted bagel. 

After the first bite, I can foresee myself making more and more bagels in the future. They are versatile, thanks to their rather plain taste. Also, they can be preserved well in the freezer and still taste good after toasting. To be exact, toasted bagels taste better then freshly baked ones, forget the experience of the leathery store-bought bagels if you ever have any.

The slather of walnut cream cheese on the chewy innards of bagels, encased in the crispy crust served well as a treat. There is nothing a good breakfast can't cure.

Here's another serving idea. I said they are versatile, right? Naturally fat free, and low in sugar and sodium, they can make a healthy and complete meal with avocado and sunny-side up. Slice them open, spread a layer of avocado on the surface. And if you love runny yolk like I do, sandwich the egg in between. Happy breakfast!

Bagel

The little town that I live in cannot be accounted as a food desert, but there isn't any decent bakery within walking distant. I visit bakeries in the shopping center to get freshly baked breads every once a week but none of them offers bagel - it just isn't the culture in Malaysia.

I first discovered bagel in a cafe with in 2013 and that has left me craving for more. The shiny roll with appearance that assembles doughnut was completely new to me. I soon fall in love with its dense and chewy texture which sets it different from the other breads. 

As I further my adventure with yeast, I decided to make my own bagels. The recipe calls for just a few kitchen staples: flour, sugar, salt, yeast and water. Traditionally, malt syrup is involved in the recipe but I decided to stick to the simplified version as I do not have any malt syrup in hand.

I was brainstorming for topping idea as I shaped the dough and started wondering its origin. A quick search on Google told me that bagel has acquired its stirrup shape for more than a century; the shape signifies the eternal cycle of life and is believed to bring good luck.

After shaping, these dough was rested for 40 minutes to allow proofing.

Bagel making involve a distinctive step that distinguishes it from other baked products - dough has to be poached in boiling water prior to baking. This key step is responsible for the chewy texture of the finished product. Apart from that, poaching in boiling water could also inactivate yeast and limits fermentation in the latter baking. It is often said that New York City has the greatest bagel in the world because it's municipal water has high mineral content which better supports the formation of gluten. 

Conventionally, lye is added to the poaching water to achieve an alkaline mixture that enhances Maillard reaction - the reaction that facilitates crust browning and flavor development. Due to the potential danger involved in dealing with the corrosive solution, baking soda is often used as the alternative for home baking. 

Poached bagel dough is subsequently brushed with egg white and baked in the oven for 15-20 minutes until it becomes golden brown.

The outcome: a half dozen of freshly baked bagels! These babies have crackly crust and chewy innard when warm. Upon cooling, they become touch and too dense and require toasting before serving.

Isn't it amazing that a few basic ingredients can give rise to so many possibilities with different textures and flavors? A slight alter in cooking methods and other parameters could create product that will surprise you! Making bagel is not tough but it is time consuming. I am so addicted to baking, the feeling of accomplishing things, especially edible things, from scratch makes me happy. It is a huge lesson about being patience- urging the yeast won't make the dough rise any faster. 

The undesired response I received in my mailbox today has brought me down but I am learning to take it positively. I feel blessed that my boyfriend is not only a partner, he is a teammate who involves himself in my life and shares the same feelings with me. It feels so good to have someone who strives to bring the best out of you and holds your hand and tells you it's okay.

Lastly, there's no way I can tell whether my bagel taste authentic because I've never been to New York! Well, someday, maybe :)

Walnut and Cranberry Bread

Rain falls heavily as I'm writing this. It's the same to the day when these breads were made. In fact, this sad weather has persisted for a couple of days and I wonder when the rain will go away. Don't mistake me, the rain is not making me down. I've realized that your mood depends on what you think and what you do, so don't blame the weather. I just have a slight complain because the cold seems to intensify my premenstrual pain  T^T.

I made these breads as I wanted something dense to bite. The breads are mildly sweetened and contained very low amount of fat. It was pleasurable to bite into the crispy crust and soft crumb, along with the crunchy walnuts and juicy cranberries which gave a burst of sweetness. Sadly, the texture wasn't retained after the breads were cooled. Fresh is always the best! 

The original recipe called for raisins but I substituted it with cranberries (I hate raisin!). I am so glad with the outcome and good comments from my neighbors. Paired it with coffee and called it a meal :)

What should I make next? There are so many recipes that I wish to try!